"You have a good, strong, angular jaw line that says to the American people, 'I am a man with strong moral convictions that is serious about instigating change and not allowing this great country to sink any further into the abysmal shit hole in which we are currently engulfed.'
Your teeth are exceptionally white and straight, which means that you probably have good oral hygiene habits and take great pride in brushing your teeth at least twice a day, flossing at least once a day, and using a fluoride mouthwash to get rid of any excess plaque, gingivitis, or tartar build up. I do think that your tie is a bit too tight, which unfortunately makes you look like a dork. You could probably stand to loosen that shit up a notch or two and give yourself some room to breathe. You might also want to consider gaining about 10 pounds of muscle. I mean, don’t get me wrong. You look like you’re in great shape and all. It would just be reassuring to know that you would be able to throw down and beat someone’s ass if a situation ever became totally ill. You know what I mean?"